


The Name Etched Beneath Flesh

by Silver_setting_sun



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Minor Violence, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Religious Cults, Romance, Self-Worth Issues, Supportive Partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24709147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_setting_sun/pseuds/Silver_setting_sun
Summary: Emotions were what commanded inferior species. Horde Prime made it known in his age of light, feelings were an affliction and thus, removed  from his people’s genetic code. It was a widely known, indisputable fact, until it wasn’t. Hordak’s first real encounter with this falsehood was on the frontlines.
Relationships: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 120





	The Name Etched Beneath Flesh

Serving on the frontlines was a mercy. Hordak knew that, knew he should suffer for his flaws. For years he had hid his condition- not out of insubordination, but disregard. It hadn’t seemed important when he could still fulfill his purpose. Only when he collapsed in front of his creator did he understand the error of his ways.

Horde Prime had made him see the truth upon the discovery of Hordak’s illness: Every moment he was allowed to live in imperfection, the more he stunted the progress of the Horde and defiled the shining legacy of Horde Prime. 

But his creator, as benevolent and gracious as he was, offered Hordak redemption. He could die with cleansing bright glory and restore the dignity he’d stolen from the Horde Empire with his own deformed existence.

The Battlefield was immensely unlike the immaculate white halls of the Horde’s fleet. The filth of mud, blood and flesh coated everything. The smell of death clung to the air and the corpses of both the enemies and fellow brothers paved the ground. 

Hordak often found himself crouching among carcasses to avoid laserfire. The sound of shooting and screaming and bodies hitting the ground stirred a feeling inside of himself that he hadn’t been able to name at the time. 

It was a feeling that spurred his heart into a rapid pace and made his digestive tract feel as if it was contracting. He couldn’t think straight- could only think about his impending death.

No, death was good; was what he needed. Horde Prime had ordered it and so he should rejoice in it.

But no matter how many times he tried to force that thought through his head, he just felt that sensation again, clouding his mind with the urge to flee. He could hear his heart now, roaring in his ears. 

Only later on Etheria would he be able to put a name to the feeling. It was something that had supposedly been engineered out of all clones and contributed to the cowardice other inferior species possessed: Fear. 

“Hordak?” 

The concerned voice pulled Hordak away from his thoughts. He looked down and found Entrapta staring at him worriedly.

“Are you ok?”

Hordak shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, reminding himself of his position. He was with Entrapta. It was three and a half months after Horde Prime’s defeat, three months after his trial, and Brightmoon’s decision that the restoration of Etheria would be his penance. He and Entrapta were currently taking apart the wreckage of a Horde ship on Queen Glimmer’s request. 

His arms felt heavy. What had he been doing? 

Entrapta’s hair crept forward, coiling around an object clutched to his chest. He hadn’t even realized he’d been holding something. She removed it from his grip and brought it between them. 

Only then was Hordak able to focus on the object. Entrapta was moving it around with her hair, rotating it and examining it with keen interest. Hordak suspected she would be more excited if not for her obvious concern for him. 

He cleared his voice awkwardly. “I apologize for my lack of attention. I am fine.”

“Oh, great!” Entrapta chirped, taking his assurance without question. Immediately, her enthusiasm shot up and her attention became focused on the object. It was long, white and cylindrical; about the length of a forearm and deceptively heavy.

“It is definitely mechanical- I can see the circuitry, but I’ve never seen a design like this before.” 

“It’s not from this world,” Hordak explained. “It’s a form of handheld ray cannon mainly used by a species the Horde engaged in warfare with over a territorial dispute.” 

“Oh, I can see it now!” Entrapta crowed. “Here’s the energy generator built up against the Cascabel. It looks like it packs a punch!”

“It certainly does,” Hordak agreed, his voice wavering, then breaking at the end of the sentence. 

Entrapta’s eyes snapped over to him and she frowned. “You know,” she said, reaching a tendril of hair over to brush Hordak’s wrist. “You don’t have to pretend to be okay. You spaced out for a long time after you picked this up.”

Hordak swallowed thickly. “I-” He found himself looking at the cannon. “It brings up...unpleasant memories.” 

Entrapta stayed quiet, allowing him to continue or back away on his own terms and Hordak was struck by how well she knew him. Entrapta herself had mentioned not fitting in with or really understanding the more finicky Etherian social conventions, but Hordak fervently thought her methods of expression and communication were ideal. 

Her kind face loosened something inside Hordak and the feeling to open up became unbearable. 

“When I was banished to the frontlines, these weapons were one of the main killers of Horde soldiers.” Hordak’s mouth felt dry. “I was hit once. It only grazed me, but these possess a high fatality rate for a reason. It burned off nearly all the flesh of my upper shoulder and-” He trailed off, trying to make his voice work again.

“May I touch you?” Entrapta asked. Hordak nodded quietly. Entrapta wrapped her arms around him in a loose hug. He could feel her hands beginning to stroke his back gently to relax him. “Do you want to stop?”

“No,” Hordak choked out. “I want to talk about this. It is...relieving. I simply need a moment.” 

They stood there in silence a couple minutes, still embracing. When Hordak found himself ready to speak once more, he gently pulled away, maintaining the contact by holding her hands. 

“I don’t remember much after I was hit, but somehow I ended up in the field hospital. The wound was agonizing and I must have been crying out in pain or something to that effect because the attendant told me to stop disgracing Horde Prime’s image with my emotional display.”

“Kadroh mentioned something like that.” Entrapta rubbed her gloved thumbs over Hordak’s palms. “Horde Prime was the only one allowed to use facial expressions?” 

Hordak inclined his head in affirmation. “It was propagated as a waste of energy that instead, could be used to serve the Horde. It was a privilege reserved for Horde Prime, and even then, Prime only displayed certain ‘appropriate’ emotions. Other emotions were deemed a trait of lesser species. It was a common belief for clones that we couldn’t feel anything other than love for our creator. The weakness was supposedly removed from our genetics.” 

Entrapta looked somber. She held Hordak’s hands tighter until it bordered on uncomfortable, but he made no mention of it. The contact was grounding in the best of ways. “And no one ever questioned it?”

“On the frontlines, the knowledge that we could feel emotion was an open secret. Many of my kin were grief stricken after the death of a brother they were particularly close with. No one acknowledged it, and it was common for those mourning brothers to die on the battlefield soon after.” 

Hordak heaved a sigh. “I experienced a wide array of emotions on the frontlines. They were new and terrifying and I didn’t know how to categorize them until I was stranded on Etheria. But still, Etherians emote to a degree I doubt I will ever fully understand or be capable of.”

He gave a harsh laugh. “It’s rather ironic,” he said, pinning Entrapta with a forced grin. “In the Horde, showing emotion made you wrong: a defect. On Etheria, failing to emote enough makes you unnerving and animalistic. I suppose I don’t really belong anywhere.”

“That’s not true!” Entrapta objected, dismay dripping from her voice. Her hair deposited the cannon to the side, then reached up to cup Hordak’s face. “Of course you belong here! You not ascribing to typical Etherian behaviors or expectations doesn’t negate your right to exist here. People call me strange all the time for not understanding them the amount they believe I should, but that doesn’t matter! We’re not the same as everyone else. So what? If anything, it allows us to think and solve problems in unique ways. It makes us strong!”

She tilted Hordak’s head down to look directly into his eyes. “It makes us beautiful!” 

Hordak felt a warmth bubble up in his chest. He brought his arms around Entrapta and hugged her. He should have asked permission- he should have, but he’d foolishly acted upon impulse. 

Embarrassed at his own actions, he started to retreat, but Entrapta quickly returned the hug, tugging him in closer. Hordak felt the tension dissolve from his body. He bent down enough to rest his chin on Entrapta’s head and closed his eyes. 

His heart picked up slightly in speed, but it was unlike the awful race of fear. Instead it made him pleasantly dizzy and was accompanied by a flutter in his stomach. 

“I’m not very experienced in this,” he heard Entrapta say. Her voice was soft, but there was a certain confidence in her tone, despite her words. “But I have a large amount of affection for you in the form of romantic feelings.”

Hordak inhaled the comforting scent of oil and metallic material from her hair. “I feel the same way,” he confessed. 

The feeling in his chest stayed strong, refusing to dissipate. He still struggled to put names to emotions, but he had a strong suspicion this was what Etherians called love. Whatever it was, he could define it with Entrapta in this new peaceful existence.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


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